What kind of teacher do I want to be? Part I

I was surprised by how many thoughts and emotions Milner's Becoming a Complete Teacher churned up inside me. Each individual component of being a teacher feels do-able, but taken together, it feels like an impossible task. 


I am not a calm person. Or a patient person. I get angry and lose my temper. I am often cynical. I hate hard work and I cry when I feel overwhelmed. 

How can I possibly be a good teacher?




On the other hand, I am surprisingly good at acting like a good teacher. This is something I learned when I was a mediator. The important thing is not to be calm, centered, unbiased and impartial. The important thing - at least from the perspective of the client - is for a mediator to appear to possess those traits. 


I don't mean being fake or pretending to be someone I'm not. I just mean that I have to accept that I may not always naturally be patient, cheerful, calm, detail-oriented, upbeat, and organized. So I need to adopt the persona of a patient, cheerful, calm, detail-oriented, upbeat, and organized person until those attitudes become a habit anytime I'm in "teacher mode." 

This is exactly what I did to be successful as a mediator. In fact, come to think of it, it's also what I did as a day care provider and a customer-service provider and a lawyer and a religious school teacher and pretty much every job I've ever held. I do my best to exhibit the traits that are most appropriate and productive for the job I need to do. Again, this isn't about being "fake." It's about managing my behavior to produce a successful outcome for myself and those around me. 

The other half of this equation is being realistic. I will feel angry sometimes. I will feel overwhelmed and frustrated. And although I can't allow myself to express those feelings toward my students or my fellow teachers, I can - and should - blow off steam with friends. 

I remember ten years ago when my best friend and roommate became a kindergarten teacher. We spent many, many evenings talking about her students, their parents, her principal, and her fellow teachers. She needed to confide in an uninvolved third party. I enjoyed hearing her stories, even though I knew that what sounded funny in the retelling had probably been frustrating at the time it happened.


So part one of my plan is to cultivate an effective teacher persona modeled on the kind teacher I want to be: smart, capable, kind, patient, organized, and calm. That means remembering to think before I speak, approaching difficult situations with a sense of humor (not a sense of sarcasm), and keeping in mind the outcomes I want to achieve. It also means tapping into my network of supportive friends.